The Sensuality Deception, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard pop over to this web-site the rest as optional. that site Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex More hints is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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